How to Pick a Pineapple

Sunday morning I found myself in the produce section of my Stop N Shop staring at some plums when I heard another distressed shopper over my shoulder.

"Excuse me! Sir?" she was talking to the kid who was restocking the berries, "How do you pick out a pineapple?" He stopped, walked over to her and mumbled something which led to her responding, "You don't know? Where is your produce man?"


I wondered to myself, Is there a "Produce Man" here? and finally settled on the plums I was taking home with me.

The woman continued to wonder aloud about her pineapple problem - about the color, the skin, about how she wanted to serve it that day. I looked over to her one more time as I was going, forgetting that with my eyesight, I was probably staring, squinting or focusing way too hard to be considered a casual glancer. "Do you know how to pick out a pineapple?"

Pineapple Pressure = Information Overload

Even without my 20/20 vision I was pretty certain she was talking to me. The pressure was now on: Do I know how to pick out a pineapple??

I was flustered, but I started rattling off whatever knowledge I had, " I feel like I heard something once about pulling out the leaves. If the leaves come out easily, then it's good. It sounds ridiculous, but that rings a bell for me-" [I just found two conflicting sources today - one that claims this is a myth, and another that uses this as its sole technique for picking pineapples!]


"But this green is no good, right?"

"No, I don't think so. It should look a little more yellow. You know, more pineapple-y," yep. I said that. "I also think you should be able to smell when it is ready to go. You said you want it for today? Then you need one that smells just right."

We proceeded to smell pineapples and noted that the green ones smelled like nothing and settled on one that smelled really delicious. She said, "Oh yeah, I can smell the difference! I think this is the one. Thank you so much!"

"No problem. I hope it is delicious!" I wanted to share more pineapple information with her. It seemed as though I had unleashed my internal pineapple database and had more to give, like

• store it upside down until you are ready to cut into it, that will help the sweetness flow to the whole fruit, or
• go through a step-by-step of what I consider the safe way to cut a pineapple.

But she didn't need any more of my help, so I was just left wondering: Where THE HECK did I learn all of this pineapple stuff??

My 21st Century Produce Man
 
There are some fruits and vegetables I know all about and others where I am still flustered. Of course, for any long-time readers of mine, it should come as no surprise that Jack Bishop has taught me quite a bit about picking out fresh produce in my favorite cookbook Vegetables Every Day. However, I did have some knowledge before that from my mother (that's where I got the upside down pineapple trick), my grandparents and other family members.

I have never encountered a produce man in any of the supermarkets I have shopped, but I also haven't looked for one either. There is a pretty simple reason for that, too. I tend to carry a produce man around in my pocket all day long! I have an iPhone and I can not tell you how often I refer to it when doing my shopping! I will use it to quickly check out whether or not a certain veggie is actually in season yet, how to pick out the perfect produce and to quickly scan any cool recipes to see if I need to pick up any additional ingredients.

I think it would be great to have an actual human being to talk to about these things, but in the meantime, I am happy I have found something to help me in my times of need!

Do you have a Produce Man that you confer with?

How do you pick out the perfect pineapple?

Where/How did you learn to pick out your produce?

How often do you use the Internet as your kitchen/food reference guide?

Convenience

Today I had an opportunity to find and listen to a great podcast. While I am sure I will be discussing many of their topics from time to time, there was one that struck me as particularly poignant today. It was from the most recent podcast (episode #008) from Wellness Break Radio. The podcast itself seems relatively "new" with only 8 episodes so far, so it is not too late to jump on in and listen to them all to catch up while you await the next episode (I am definitely subscribing to this one). Episode #008 was their first to address listener feedback. The first call they had truly struck a nerve with me. It was simple enough, the caller was a fan of the podcast and the message of wellness they share, but he was wondering if there was a way to do it more conveniently.

I was struck by this comment because, at the time I was dragging my brand new old-lady shopping cart jammed full of groceries back home for a 2 mile drag on a warm October afternoon.

My new "old-lady shopping cart"

And I thought to myself, "The other day, when I blogged about 'My Well-Fed Life', I had convenience down as a criteria too." So, what is our obsession with convenience? And when did getting food become something that was supposed to be convenient? I am guilty of this thinking myself from time to time, so I have to stop and reflect when any moments of clarity strike.

Questions That Attacked Me In My Moment of Clarity

• WHY does our food have to be convenient? 
• When we look closely at our lives, at the world we have created for ourselves - with our family, our job, our social life, our extra-curricular activities - why is it that we choose our own nutrition to be the part of our life that is not worth our time and effort? 
• Why can't we (and, guys, when I say "we" I hope you realize most of this is coming from the first person perspective here) recognize that the time and effort that we spend on food and nutrition will enhance our entire livelihood, our health, our joy? 

Realization That Attacked Me In My Moment of Clarity

• Why can't we recognize that if we don't have time for this, than we are truly running out of time... a human life can not sustain itself on all the other "life stuff", but it can flourish with good food.

It was all clear to me as I heard the man request convenience; when I heard my own request outside myself. It was clear because today was not only a day when the words "convenience isn't a solution" sounded right, but the actions felt right, too. I had just spent about an hour in the produce section of my King Kullen (I mistakenly thought it was a shorter walk than the Stop N Shop) scrutinizing the labels of every single fruit or veggie I picked up (this is really quite ridiculous looking with my limited vision - I don't want to know what the other customers were thinking!) searching for where they came from, what was organic and what I needed to make it through until Saturday's Farmer's market. I had also walked to the store, getting in my exercise and spent a gorgeous day outside. I walked my groceries through the park on the way home and enjoyed the ducks and geese swimming in the pond that haven't left us just yet for southern shores.

I spent nearly three hours doing something that normally takes my husband and I a half hour, at most. If I did not, I would have had to order some take-out for my husband so he could eat in the brief 45 minutes he had at home tonight before he had to return to school for Parent Teacher's Night. The entire trip - the walking, the heat, the shopping on my own with my own silly, broken eyes, the cooking and preparation in time for my husband's arrival - looked at, in print, can be seen as really, really inconvenient, but in the end, it was worth every damn second.

...And I am pretty sure I'll be spending more of days on medical leave doing this same exact thing.